Road Film (With Fighting)

Now Eyrie Productions (http://www.eyrie.net) has a mixed track record regarding their Fan Fiction.  Often, it’s good, but they do so often cross the line into Mary Sue-isms with their characters.

That isn’t necessarily bad, but it’s not great.  After all, Ensign Newbie shouldn’t be able to take over from Captain Kirk, at least not within the first chapter.. But sometimes that’s just what you want to read….

They just put out a Top Gear fan fiction…  Yes, the BBC Car show, now has a fan fiction based on it…

And you know what, it’s pretty darn good…  Sure it’s in script form, but that works, after all they are writing about a TV show, and it just works..

Hammond: I just love that your car’s satnav system knows where all the military bases are.

May: It’s Klingon. These things are important to them.

Ext. Day. Coast Road. The two cars make good time, their drivers having thrown all regard for the traffic laws to the wind.

Hammond (VO): This was actually a fair test of our cars’ capabilities in a genuine crisis situation. The Lamborghini was fast, agile, with superior roadholding qualities; the bigger, heavier KMW was actually a little bit faster, and its build quality gave it a very reassuring sense of indestructibility. And the Aztech was broken and useless.

The cars round a corner. In the distance a group of EARTHFORCE MARINES can be seen setting up a portable roadblock.

Int. Day. Lamborghini cabin. CLARKSON looks aghast.

Clarkson: Uh-oh. Guys?

Int. Day. KMW cabin. MAY sets his jaw.

May: Tuck in behind me. Whatever happens, don’t stop.

He puts his foot down. HAMMOND blinks at him in astonishment.

Int. Day. KMW cabin. HAMMOND hides behind the dash, occasionally glancing at MAY as if he thinks he's gone insane.

May: (shouting in Klingon)

Subtitle: Honorless dogs! Make way for Captain Slow!

Ext. Day. Coast Road. The LAMBO slides into a tight trailing formation behind the KMW, which is accelerating toward the roadblock. A MARINE holds up his hand for the KMW to halt, but is ignored.

Int. Day. KMW cabin. MAY, a furious scowl on his face, drives straight toward the roadblock -

Ext. Day. Coast Road. - ignoring the flurry of ill-aimed blasterfire this draws, and smashes it down with the KMW's bumper.

Take a gander if you want at Undocumented Features Symphony No. 5: Road Film (With Fighting).